Don’t cry for me BBC Newsjack

Here we are again we another small set of rejected one liners from the brilliant BBC radio comedy show Newsjack. I love this show and would love to hear my work used BUT I also enjoy coming up with these, so just knowing I’m in with a shout is pretty cool for me. One day..

Without further ado let me introduce my latest rejected one liners:

Not wanting to miss out on current affairs the porn industry has actually produced My Big Fat Gypsy P0rno. I find this a little disrespectful and politically incorrect to the point of insult, shouldn’t it be My Big Fat Traveller P0rno.

It’s been announced that technology the scientists are using to break through 2 miles of ice to sample the lake under the polar cap will be the same technology they use to find David Cameron’s heart. Neither experiment is expected to find the desired results.

Sad news to hear about the death of Steve Jobs. His Apple technology has caused a global technology revolution and the intuitive auto-correct function on iPhones and iPads has revolutionised smelling.

I thank you.


—-the intentional error on the word p0rno is due to the site being spammed and searched for under the incorrect term—————-


One Comment on “Don’t cry for me BBC Newsjack”

  1. VInce Cheeseman says:

    Hi Kris

    Good one liners – I’ve been sending them in every week too, not a sniff of success though. can be disheartening but at least its all experience and practice. Here’s a selection of the ones i sent in last week:

    As the world comes to terms with the sad loss of Steve Jobs there is one big question on the lips of Apples rivals around the world – namely ‘whose ideas are we going to copy now?’

    A report this week suggests that patients who donate their organs should have their funeral expenses paid for by the NHS. Why not, funerals already cost an arm and a leg so lets’ throw in a heart, some kidneys and the occasional eyeball as well?

    Grahame Swann revealed that he has named his son in honour of England’s Ashes win in Sydney. Oz ‘you’re not singing anymore’ Swann could also become the team’s mascot for the next ashes series.

    Mary Portas has criticised the female cabinet ministers for being a poorly dressed ugly bunch who she could not bear to look at. A criticism that could also be levelled at the X factor over 25’s category.

    might post a few of them on twitter – at least i get some feedback from friends!


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